Thoughts about Me

Few friends of mine, as they see the blog suggest why do you always write about YOURSELF. I wondered on this for quite a while. But then as I think and think again on it, I realised that, for me I am the most important person. This statement may seem selfish and self-obsessed, but then it does not matters to me. I think to most of us the first thing that matters is our ownselves; it could be directly or indirectly... some admit and some don't.

need to be changed@deep...way of reacting to different situations have always been too direct, thats not out of choice...always find myself a looser in manipulating my reactions. And I believe everyone of us thinks something weird about everything, but then we dont express it always. Even I don't. I dont like being diplomatic, but there have been few instances where I really think I could have behaved in a better manner.

happy with that@deep...never loved being someone else to make others happy. By now all my decisions have been just mine. They made others unhappy but in course of time things settle down, except for few moments when a corner of heart aches within...par
gulashan kii faqat phuulon se nahiin kaanton se bhii ziinat hotii hai,
jiine ke liye is duniyaa men gam kii bhii zaruurat hotii hai

need to be changed@deep..."gam" thats another thing I wonder alot about. Even most of the time I find myself writing about something sad, something gloomy, something that made me unhappy... its very seldom when I am happy and writing. May be we write only when we introspect; and we introspect only when we are in a sort of negative airs or may be blank.
vo purasish-e-gam ko aaye hain kuchh kah na sakun chup rah na sakun,
Khaamosh rahun to mushkil hai kah dun to shikaayat hoti hai

happy with that@deep...always find going into extreme of things, tastes, hobbies, interests and all that. Whenever I like doing something I totally become crazy for that, and keep on doing that repeatedly or may be continuously...and then as it happens, intensity goes down...and i wonder and smile about that period...be it internet, Ruskin Bond, RK Narayan, some blog, movies, picasa or any blah..
ai vaaiz-e-naadaan karataa hai tuu ek qayaamat kaa charchaa,
yahaaN roz nigaahen milatii hain yahaan roz qayaamat hotii hai

need to be changed@deep...keep on wondering about anything or things which matter equivalent to nothing...for long..longer than required. This is what I feel if I could change I can give my potential better off to issues which are more important to me and my future.

happy with that@deep...becoming too happy, cheerful, high on spirits and excited on even the very small things. Can't stop smiling and then everyone can identify that from the glitter in eyes. I always love those moments as present as well as the past.
raat bhar sochta raha tujhko,
zehno dil mere raat bhar mehke

As a matter of fact I again ended up writing something about myself... with the help of lines which I find very close to myself. And I would say I can't help it..thats the way I am.!!