Let your heart guide you......It whispers so listen closely

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


..always thought that my system works well with multi-tasking..but realised just now how it is becoming slower..and could no more do with so many diverse things going on in its processor..offcourse not, when its sleep deprived, worried about work early in the morning itself..
..i m sorry :'(

PS: experienced how it could take just a moment to convert an impossible-to-hide-smile into a drooping-face.

Friday, February 19, 2010

they crossed

they crossed each other; or was it the case that their paths did,
and never did they..

PS: clicked @ Murud (Konkan).


I always heard people saying there is lot to do when one is in research; one has to spend days and nights, one has to struggle, and what not. But during last 8 months I never felt much of any such thing. No one ever pushed me, and on my own how lazy I am, you know that. So the point of interest here is that situation has somehow turned upside down in a while. Stress is showing increasing trend, all for good; making me say, ab lag raha hai reasearch kar rahe hain. Some of it is not random, and could be attributed to GBM, making me do two not very trivial topics at the same time, forgetting that I have to work on my research problem too. In his own words, "Research students have got time. They can carry the problems with them, wherever they go. They are free, because they don't have many courses." :( But sir your course is equivalent to full stretch of 5 courses.
Anyways no point in getting sad over this, it was me who always want to study all this; and i still do love it. . thank you Sir :)

By the by I guess am almost over with that Introduction + ... + Conclusion crap (thanks to every one who cheered me up in the comments section); except for some n no. of readings by sir and the changes to follow. Copy + Paste helped me to some extent but the struggle there was that I find myself too lazy for that too.. I hope at this somebody doesn't slaps me saying i don't have rights to do research.. :(

In the mean while, during all the above ... when I was stuck with something to write, I was too occupied, and over that this chatter box habit washes everything off. I have often complained about some people, that they used to write so well in student life but now after getting into some sucking IT job they almost stopped. I used to say finding few moments could never be an issue; but now i realize how difficult it is to get some such moments.

PS: 1)Have you ever tried talking to yourself in morning ...do i sound stupid?; its fun, give a try ;)

PS: 2) Wrote to some people, with whom I haven't communicated since long; made me feel great :)

PS: 3) Yesterday evening was completely dedicated to some bursts of laughter (from chameli to chameleon) :D
PS: PS: 3) Looking back made me realize, that there are not many such moments, so I should treasure them :)

PS: 4) Understood how change is the only constant in life :O

Monday, February 15, 2010


Warning: Don't misinterpret this as struggle for something big; actually to me at the moment it is looking as big as a mountain, but in general that is not the case.

So the thing is I am over with some small work, and now I need to write in form of a (research)paper. I am due with it since 8 days. We have all results ready, it just needs to be penned down in proper way with Introduction, Conclusion and all the other screwing stuff. So apparently no issues in that. But as you know this girl is too lazy to write things (except when it comes to blog or so.. :P). This is why I always wanted to run away from examination hall, not because I didn't know, but I was too lazy to write it down. This is why I advocated viva kind exams. Still somehow with that impatience and laziness I was able to manage with reasonable grades for M.Sc. But I am clueless how to manage it here. I am striving since last Sunday to write down and finish it up. One more weekend has come and gone away, and I am still there. I am wondering what I did all this while. Simply procrastinating..
After all as Calvin says, Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

And this night all the while I was dreaming about this, making strategies about how to climb this 4-5 page mountain, which at the moment seems unapproachable.. :( Somebody help.. :'(

PS: I wish writing that note would have been as easygoing as writing here.

Friday, February 12, 2010


उजले उजले फूल खिले थे,
बिल्कुल जैसे तुम हस्ते हो|
                     -बशीर बद्र

PS: clicked them at Open Canteen at around 8 PM.. :)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

time for fun and memories

When I was in class 3 I saw a beach for the first time. It was Juhu beach; crowded messed up kind, so there wasn't any specific affinity towards the tides.
Later during post grads in Pune I got to see them in the real sense, not those crowded and dirty but the real lovely clean ones. and as I was with batch mates so no restrictions, and our enjoyment tended to infinity. We used to go inside water til it was to our waists or so, and then wait for tides to come and drown us, and taste the salty water, which appeared like some weird version of Manchurian.. :P Then we were literally dragged back, as none of us wanted to get out of it..

And it was not just the beach, what complemented our trips, was the way ..
I have then first time seen some road so beautiful, with clouds not letting the vehicles move, drizzling, then that greenery as we approached Konkan coast didn't let me move eyes from the window..

As I was not a part of M.Sc batch so was not interested to join these guys for the trip last semester, but I got to see sea thrice in 6 days in October during my visit to Kerala. We just saw the sea needs to be emphasized as I was with family, so no point of going inside. I don't know why they are so scared. Why should one be, of that clean, deep, beautiful, blue water body.. :O

This time its Harne beach (again Konkan) . But the difference this time is that something inside me convinced the other me to join them. Even if not many friends are going, even if I won't be able to yell and shout on the way and in the beach as I always did u see I am senior now :( .... even if ..whatever...
Still I want to enjoy again those days, and want to be there and remeber the days when I was there with my special friends.. :) I miss you all ...

for the first time i saw the flower of lady finger plant ..

Sunday, February 7, 2010


He who sleeps in continual noise is wakened by silence.
                                         -William Dean Howells

Thursday, February 4, 2010

titleless again

When lectures are like those in pastimes the one is forced with these. But when they are some thing like advance stochastic processes and stochastic models in finance, and still one is interested to make one on the side bench smile, then the only choice one is left with is this...
(kaam chalau..)

So now whenever you see some such thing on the desks in classroom at ground floor or that at the top .. this is not meant for everyone reading...then you don't have to wonder who the artist is.. :D
Tarang was the one who used to make these in graduation days, and called them TODA. I still wonder what could be the reason behind giving this name to a drawing of baby elephant's back(u see I have to mention that in order to make sure that people who look at this don't see something else in the figure :P)..may be like many other things in life this is also arbitrary.

Today I was having breakfast with a friend. During chat we landed on drawing and sketches. And that fellow shared his experience. He used to be in trouble whenever asked to make a sketch of girl (..why only girls :O .. :P); he did one simple thing as a escape: made back side. And teacher used to say why you are always behind them..(yes dear why not face them :D)..hehe..
So this reminded me of these cute Todas on all the desks of department I have been making since 2 years or so...u see the point.. it could be anything..girls or elephants.. drawing of back side is easier.. :P

On a serious note I am in some sort of problem now, in the sense that up til now I used to utter all crap and blah here, and never cared for what I wrote, most of which was some dull, dumb, sad stuff which always misrepresented me. Ideally I always intend to write not only all the negative stuff but all such things which made me smile, laugh, some thing encouraging too. But most of the time I catch hold of blog only when I am upset. I try to edit this tendency, but I am helpless. I never cared about what people reading might think about me, because most of the time they were strangers and didn't knew me in person; if at all some of them know me they know how weird I am, so no botheration. No problem up til here. But it arrives when someone who knows you, but doesn't know how weird you are starts reading, and is wondering..

PS: I am totally confused about
>what I was asked to write early in the morning (something humorous)
>what I was thinking to write few hours back
>what I started with
>what it has turned into

anyways atleast all of it is not the usual depressing stuff. :)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

All of us have some ideals in our life times. These are those whom we appreciate, always looked up. They are up above, somewhere in sky, shining like stars and unreachable. But then some people like me have some earthly ideals too, whom we look up with equal respect as others do to their in the sky ones. I am calling them earthly because they are around us, on this earth only, within our reach. They could be some fatherly person or a friend. We like them because they are more close to us in some or the other way; that could be their behavior, the way they work, or it could be any simplest thing...

But there is one problem with having earthly ideals. As they are in our vicinity, we are in touch with them, be it in personal life or professional life, we start having some expectations from them. And since they too are human beings living in this world only, so its pointless expecting perfection from them. But when these people let us down we feel shattered. We are angry on them, feeling irritated; but helpless at the same time because some where, some part of our heart likes them as they are.
You see this problem doesn't arise with those in sky, because they are in sky, far from us..

...I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think..
-Taylor Swift