Let your heart guide you......It whispers so listen closely

Monday, April 27, 2009

An Entrance Test That Was

It was full of core mathematics… algebra & complex analysis…and a bit of calculus. I could solve neither of them, but atleast calculus questions could be understood .One of them made me wonder what used to be ‘removable singularity’. I learnt these courses 2-3 years back in my graduation, but neither were they in that depth nor did I like them so much to study on my own.

I am talking about IISC enterance exam for research. I and a friend of mine filled the form for research in mathematics department as they don’t have one for statistics. We got convinced by looking at their webpage that they have work going on in advanced probability theory and time series, but when told by TVR about the actual scene in statistics, what I could say was just that ”chalo koi nahi…atleast we can try solving paper just like that..anyways I don’t have to go there”.

And when I saw the paper I was so amused, that I cannot stop myself from smiling. I was thinking how many minutes I will be able to tolerate those mathematical questions.
I solved a few objectives, and one cannot imagine how many were guesses ;)..
But when I came to subjective questions, I can only try reading and understanding the 2 calculus ones, I played with them for about 15 mins. There was no question of doing that with isomorphism, homomorphism, order of group, cyclic group, analytical functions and singularities. So insane of them to put not a single statistical question, atleast it would have been easy for me to pass time.
By the by, during all this invigilator came to desk for signatures. And I made no delay in asking about the time limit one has to sit there, which came out to be 1 hour.
So, when finished with the maximum I can do with calculus ones, I was wondering how to spent the other 20 mins, I wasn’t sleepy even. All of a sudden I located their symbol on question paper, and since drawing is a good pastime, going by my recent experiences. I tried hands on it for quite a while. And then it was 10:05 am. So, time to leave. I asked the person and left the room.
But then there was something more for me. As I was about to leave the centre, a person with long hairs and long beard(LHLB), who claimed himself to be in charge stopped me

LHLB: Were you writing the exam?
Me: Yes..
LHLB: You are not supposed to leave before 11.
Me: Invigilator didn’t tell.. :o
LHLB: He might not be knowing, you should go back.
Me: What if I don’t, will I be disqualified?...You may do that.
LHLB: Its not a matter of that, you are not allowed to leave
Me: I am not well.
LHLB: Sleep there.

He grumbled something for invigilator and sent me back. Never wanting to go back, I roamed here and there in the building for few mins as he was not clever enough to send some one with me, to make sure I am going back to room. I again came back thinking of some way out. This time I was lucky, as no one there on the entry, so I came out in hasty steps, as if escape from custody. When I was far off I got relaxed. But all of a sudden my conscious said why am I running. Someone inside said me to go back and tell them I am going with some strong good reason, even if it’s a lie. I was confused, I turned my steps twice to move back. Finally I decided to go back. Entering the control room, I said I cannot sleep even , I have got dysentery. He was like, “OK on medical grounds I will let you go”.

I could not stop myself smiling on the whole way back, relaxed enough I turned to OC had breakfast, wondering how much scolding that invigilator might have got because of leaving me early. :)

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Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Nothing is going on.i mean nothing is happening...its all going on, as it should be except for few random events..which could not be called errors...apparently things seem to be alright. We want life to be like that, but it makes u feel blank. Life..is something that gives a experience each day..bt still some days though having their own importance go unnoticed...just like.....

A Page from the New Diary
The day changed only on the paper calendar;
the steel belted dial of time turned,
the clock-work doll stepped
beyond the threshold of its home & danced in circles.

Hands clapped,
Laughter crowned the scene.
A playful sun-deer panted & trembled,
Dashed into the black tyre
of the last bus,
fell, and went to pieces.
One more day
Turned away offended.

Exactly what I had feared
happened today.
Today, again,
nothing happened.
        -Nida Fazli

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Khatam Afsana ho gaya

Anjane anddithe do dil mile, vaqat sohana ho gaya.
Karte mel milaya sacha, sada sama suhana ho gaya
Parwar khidiya naal khushiyan, ghar ashiyana ho gaya
Oh meri diwani ho gayi, mai uhda diwana ho gaya
Aayi bhi oh gayi vi oh, khatam afsana ho gaya

Kathe rehnde, dukh sukh sehnde, din change mande saath saal zamana ho gaya
Jis di pujje audh tise kaun rakhai, gurbani furmana ho gaya
Awan jaan ik khel rab da, bas bimari bahana ho gaya
Naal bimariyan darad de dukhi si, dillon sukhi ho chupke hi jana ho gaya
Aayi bhi oh gayi vi oh, khatam afsana ho gaya

Supne vich mai ayi vekhi, kaihendi sach sachi hamdardi
Piyare jiwan supna samjho, nale dithi akhiyan bhardi
Socha, chinta di chikha na saiheni paindi, nirbhau je kar mai na mardi
Chup kite hi mai sochan, oh vi soche, lekha jivan chukana ho gaya
Aayi bhi oh gayi vi oh, khatam afsana ho gaya

Simran path vich man nahi lagda, mushkil sama nibhana ho gaya
Dardi dil dukhan da bharya, dora-sharir-kapda purana ho gaya
Sabar piyala hajam nahi honda, vekh tamasha rab da mai diwana ho gaya
Uska raha na rab ka, nirbhau be thakana ho gaya
Aayi bhi oh gayi vi oh, khatam afsana ho gaya.


I was trying to find out this poem written by my grandpa since his birthday in February..atlast I got it so thought to share here. He wrote this after my grandma passed away.
As its in punjabi and written in gurmukhi script actually..so transliteration might make it bit difficult to understand.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

An "E" again

As a result of those pastimes in the lectures I was totally blank on the day before of sampling internal.
I don’t know why there is so much of repulsion between me and sampling. Yesterday it seemed as if someone has put something around my head, which is not allowing anything to enter within; may be some sort of firewall which was trying to protect my brain from sampling stuff.
I sort of hate it. I know its not good at my part to say something like this for a course in statistics. But is it necessary to like each and every part course. I don’t want to be a sage to love everything and hate nothing. In previous semesters I didn’t liked DOE. All this doesn’t goes random, I have figured out a tentative pattern behind: may be I dislike field and industrial type papers. What I like is theoretical topics along with applications. I am myself confused. Because at the end even stochastics and markov chains are there for data handling only. Let it be, I will try to analyse my situation some other time.
After 1st internals, I convinced myself for writing notes instead of making cartoons. In each lecture of 1 hour I used to give 5-6 failed attempts of paying attention to what she is saying. And I cannot retain my patience for more than 2-3 mins, in extreme case it might have gone to 4, but not more than that.
And then day before exam things become tare zameen par.
Things are even worse when you get stuck with some problem of markov chains, solving which off course is more interesting than studying this.

So I have only 3 options for the grades in this course…and that are
a) E
b) E
c) E

Doesn’t matters…at least the course is over.. so no more bearance…

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