Life As I Know It

There is only one you. But you are associated with many people. As a matter of fact there are many different worlds around. Mingled worlds which cannot be separated. Family, relatives, friends at social networks, actual friends, blogger friends, people associated at work place..and so on.

There are few who were very important part of the past; past which we cherish. But now they are only a bit better than acquaintances. There was a time we used to be so alike ..manners, dressings.. thoughts. But once the paths change it is no more the same. Sometimes I get a feeling that I am lagging behind ..sort of backward ..not up to date with all the stuff around ..could be brands, trends or relations. May be they were too fast or I was too slow. But one thing I am sure about is I was not stagnant. I have also moved though in different direction. How could someone running in another direction visualize my track ..my goals. They think I have not moved on. Probably now I appear dull and boring to them, have wasted my life; just because I am not so happening. Even in the present there are many to whom I appear so.

But now at this point of my life do such people and their valuable opinions about me, matters? No, it doesn’t. May be I am wrong, but I am content and happy with what road I am on. There are too many things in this life to be concerned about. How can I afford to devote my attention towards the road which could probably make me appear interesting to some. By any chance I don’t mean or intend to sound proud and self admiring. It is just that I don’t have regrets for how I am now and how I wish to fit myself in future. In fact I am and will be always thankful to HIM.. there is so much more light right in here.. in my dull and so called boring world ;) Though things are not perfect (they are never with anyone), but it is very much like I could have wished for.

PS: Watched Life As We Know It over the weekend. Enjoyed :)

new paintings

He is a dreamer, loves to imagine and then brings his fancies to the canvas. Have you ever watched him making one...

..starts with a blank canvas but filled mind. Mind filled with thoughts with which he wants to change the way this canvas in front of him looks. In a short while there are random lines-the light ones, which don't make sense to observer like me. At times he erases a few and redraws them. You are clueless about what may appear. Then there appear some prominent lines which define the picture. Slowly you start seeing the theme. You are amazed by his imagination.. awestruck by the creativity.

He has started filling the colors. Some are already there. You enjoy guessing the remaining.. imagining. It becomes your pastime, wondering which part of the palette will the brush touch. You are desperately waiting for the picture to be complete except for the fear of any color being spilled and making a blot. There could be few small unwanted drops here and there but they complete the picture. Not everything is perfect.

Right now I am imagining.. and enjoying :) 

Sure enough these are not those glass paintings, feeble enough to break by wind strokes. Wishing to withstand all storms, with actual bonds.. bonds of love :)

Intruders around

Since few days my life is bugged by too many intruders..

Cockroaches.. heading into almirah
Rats.. gnawing the plastic boxes and the food inside
Ants.. licking the butter 

and probably Worms.. in the tummy :(

Thankfully, there are no bed bugs around, for the moment at least :D

अनकही

नहीं समझा क्या कहना चाहते थे हम,

ख़त लिखा भी था तुम्हारे नाम, फिर मिटा दिया. 

जो कागज़ पे आया वो गलत था,

और जो मन में था वो भी कहाँ सही था.

कुछ न कहना ही बेहतर होगा शायद .

कोरा कागज़ भेजा है,

हो सके तो पढ़ लेना.

the fuss around

Almost a week now. I wake up with the occupied mind, who is working on how I can optimize the time wasted on this futile quest; whom do I need to meet today, where to meet him, what to tell; how can I keep peace at mind while working otherwise. Weekend was so relaxing. I felt so fresh and cheerful. It was like a free bird, my mind I mean, wasn’t tide with the thoughts of got to go there (or here). There was no burden or in fact no fear. Fear that something could have been done but I did not do it. Fear of people pouncing on me. I just want to get away. I don’t want to sound like I am giving up. But at the same time it all seems so senseless. At times it appears I am being skeptic, making an issue out of nothing and creating an unnecessary drama out of it. But what if, the thing I am thinking of really comes true. Will there be anyone to take responsibility. It will be like that’s your shit, no one else is supposed to take care of it and since it can not be cleaned, you got to stay with it now; after all it is yours. 

I really don’t want to grumble or whine over this. But I hate it when I automatically lose my spirits early in the morning. I get too dull a feeling to concentrate on the actual work. Atmosphere automatically turns tense and I cannot stop getting around in those circles. Sounds so strength-less, that I gave up so easily. So small is the level of my patience, as every one says. 

PS: As always, I wrote and it helped. Feeling better.

P-PS: To my surprise, cribbing doesn't mean complaining. I have been assuming that since long.

the way through the plastics

damage

PS: Search is on for the possible culprit. It has been doing it repeatedly and not leaving any sign. Any suggestions about whose teeth these could be?