all that can be said has been said

When I was a fresher to blogs I always missed the presence of friends and acquaintance to the blogger world. Everyone around used to be stranger. But now when too many people are around, who are not so stranger, my feelings have turned around. There used to be a time when I felt so light once I penned down my thoughts. Everything moves on eventually. It isn’t same now. Now whenever I write few people are always there with some or the other kind of reaction.. some kind of a teasing remark, care and concern on my problems, questions and queries about the situation which led to the post, consoling in a don’t worry manner. Nowadays so often it happens that I am feeling bad, low, worried, perplexed but thought writing couldn’t be a right way out, because I don’t want sympathetic reactions. I miss those days when I used to write most depressing posts one could ever write, and don’t even have to care about reactions. Sometimes my space is all what I need. I started writing to pour down anything which I am unable to express and share with friends and family. If someone comes asking me face to face it isn’t serving the right purpose. Then comes the time when I couldn’t write anything for a while. Why I feel so answerable in every such situation. I don’t want to give any explanations beyond what I wrote. I remember a friend saying All that can be said has been said.

Sometimes I wonder, How will it feel like, turning into an anonymous blogger.

I know I sound insane because everyone in the world expects reaction on what he writes. I know I sound so contradictory at the same time because after all it isn’t my personal diary. You might title me as world’s biggest weirdo. It could be highly probable that it is just my false belief. Few might be let down/ hurt/upset. I am really sorry. But this was there in my heart and mind since long; and it has served as a block to lot of thoughts that I intended to write in last few months. I know few of you might even feel like disconnecting/stop-following me, because of this attitude, which could appear immature and arrogant. I accept it is rude. But as I said sometimes my space is all what I need.

All I want is to get back here and chatter any blah, like that sparrow in the balcony, and some space to fly. I am scared in posting this, but this is the only way that I can make my wings feel lighter, so that they are ready for the flight.