Let your heart guide you......It whispers so listen closely

Friday, August 17, 2012

stopped writing OR not been writing !!!!

I accept that I have not been writing lately; but one (and everyone) should note that it is NOT same as i have stopped writing. I was really furious and agitated after reading that remark. I don't know why, but it hurt me. It felt like I have been kicked out of the community :-| It is just 115 days since I wrote here. I know that makes almost 1/3rd of an year; but I was actually busy. Just like those, who think that I have stopped writing, all this while even in my mind dozens of post were written and deleted. I had almost formulated so many of them. But somehow, i could never open blogger. Yes I accept, there is no pending/incomplete post waiting to get published. I never picked up the pen, or better way, never tapped my fingers on key board.

There are so many things which were worth sharing, but which lost their importance or my enthusiasm to write now. Since today morning I was so sure that I have to write now, no matter what blah comes out.

Now since I am already back since last 5 minutes I can't resist doing the random babble. Those who are sensitive to noise may please use cotton plugs (or equivalently close this tab).

Around a month back, I almost got a strong feeling (which stayed for around a week) to make my blog private and do all the random not-so-good babble in it.. so that i don't have to answer any questions about what I have written. But the best part of my busy-ness (or rather lazinees) was not even opening the blogger to make it private, forget about writing posts :P

Right now so many random things are circling my mind

> Have been watching tooooo many movies. there is no end to my to-watch list and to-download list. I keep on looking on imdb and then torrent and then vlc and then again something else on imdb and so on.. and the cycle goes on. One fine day I SHOULD share the list of movies which I would definitely recommend.

> Managed to speed up my R program..which didn't help much.

> Was able to make a package in R (though its a very basic one). It took me ages to understand the required instructions which are not as bad as they appeared to be. So it was another wishful plan to end my blog's fasting days by sharing simpler set of instructions to develop a package in R.

> Looked at old problems with a new lens..and i think its helping.. or at least there is some line which has hope.. and remember hope is a good thing :)

> Gathered the courage to face the reality; if something cannot be changed, one has to deal with it. So do I.

> Got into ST-5 P. Enjoying it like anything. A friend was right, when she said, when you teach something you sideline your personal reading and studies, because every time you read, if you really do it, you keep on discovering new and new things from the same content.
..and by the by, teaching is the best job in world  :)

> Realised that my problems are much smaller than those of many people around. Its true..given a chance to exchange, I would prefer my own set.

> Too many people are interested to know about  the tracking issues with India post (or sometimes Zoomin), so much that they never let me feel low, that i am not writing and hence there are no visitors on my place :D

>>>>>>> Too sleepy now to continue.

Hope to babble more, soon  ;)


Meghana said...

Good read! Actually I was almost imagining you talking aloud!! :) Just to add, there are people who enjoy reading whatever you write; even if you consider that as 'babble' ('bubbly babble' I would say)and asking you why you have not been writing lately is just feeling on missing some good thing!

Madhuri Kulkarni said...

teaching is the best job in world >>>>very true! It completely changes your mood. No matter how sad you are feeling, but after delivering a lecture you (most of the times) get rid of that sadness.You actually get "chittashuddhi".
Welcome back dear! Nice post. Expresses your feelings completely.

Richa said...

1. I think every blogger could relate himself to these lines:
'In my mind dozens of post were written and deleted.' .... very well put!

2. Glad to see you so positive with so many
things, keep it up !

3. The visitors list was really amusing.. there
are so many of them..:D!

4. The post had the flavor of crank and vivacity
both.. As if a seasoned writer had casually
added the spices .. Keep writing !!

deep said...

@ Meghana - Thanks a lot dear.. for always being there to hear my babble :)

@ Madhuri Kulkarni - Thank you :) by the by that word.. "chittashuddhi" seems very apt..teaching actually removes the heaviness from heart and mind.

@Richa - I think I too need to go pointwise ;)
1. That line is applicable to most of us (bloggers).. but isn't original, its inspired from the one who said that i have stopped writing. Read closely, i think i wasn't clear enough.
2. :)
3. :D i think i will need to write on this ;)
4. Ohh my my... too much to digest in one shot.. I will take that as a compliment. Thank you :)

Akanksha said...

Nice style of writing.
Felt like reading minutes of your meetings with your own mind...
Waiting for R posts...

priyanka said...

teaching is the best job in world. :-) I am totally agree with you deep. I like ur posts(rather blog).

deep said...

@Akanksha- Thank you :) btw it wasn't a "style"..it was more of a random babble :P
Loved the 2nd line...
R post will be there soon.. still in the process of re-discovering the facts which i missed earlier.

@priyanka- Thank you :)

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