what happened

What happened to those times, when I had breaks more often to speak of my worries, to share incidents which brought glitter to my eyes, when I was free with my complains about each single issue, when my stupidity made everyone laugh. What left is just chaos of voices all around me, which are doing the same what I used to.

There are these lone night walks now; when no one is ahead of me, no one is at the back, and what twinges most is that no one on my side; tired feet not ready to step ahead but mind not ready to stop and move back. Tears even have become unfriendly enough to refuse to come out when there is no place for them within.

I have yet to learn the ability of hiding the emotions, which keep on peeping, when they shouldn’t be. And everyone around doubts, but no one is left to dig out, and bring the smile with smudges still left on the cheeks.

This again is a pointless post, but as my headline says it is all about the moments which are holding me, and this is one such, although it is longer than a moment.

Why day by day my blog is becoming more and more like a mourning one.???
I wish sometime I will again have some stuff like those of LHLB or those cartoon sketches, reading what would bring smile and not this, what it is now.

August Rush

...this time it was Jyoti.
Any time I have someone watching this around me I can't stop myself from giving him company... I have watched it 4 times I guess, but I am sure I will soon find an excuse to watch again..May be because I find it as the most relaxing, soothing and comforting movie...


Listen, do you hear it? The music. I can hear it everywhere. The wind. In the air. In the light. It’s all around us. All you have to do is open yourself up. All you have to do is listen.

Wish for Retake

I am not sure what was the reason...but that happened..
I know I am not very great at communicating, but atleast I am average. And if thats matter of facing a class of 50 then even that has been done successfully. I remember Microarray reasearch paper presentations, and those of project evaluations. I was complimented for explaining, in a way that even those understood the content who were not related to those topics. But yesterday, when people were specially suggested to attend to mine..then I spoiled everything.

It was the presentation of doctoral research proposal. I was ready. And Sir wanted few from MSc final years students to attend to that. I thought I would be able to explain the matter to them, and that won't create any problem. But I don't how at that moment I got nervous. It APPEARED that everything has started well off..but as I came to the 5th slide from the end, it was as if I am being moved from some dream. I was shocked that it wasn't more than 15 mins since I started and I am near end.
It was too late to realise, but I started moving slower. But it was in vain now.

Alls well that ends well...the queries by the referees were also almost answered..and my proposal is approved.
But later not only the juniors complained about not being able to understand anything, even Sir pointed out that I should have been slower.

Thats one moment I would like to have retake for.. I wish there could have been some mechanism of rewind..
But in real life we don't have one.