Met an old friend today.. she is more like a younger sister. Till like 2 years back, I had spent considerable time with her. We used to chat a lot, share tit bits.. with time it didn't remain much. Today when I met, I felt so light and good, we again chatted endlessly. And it reminded me of the past...
There are so many layers of it. While coming back, some how I floated into the deeper past. There were so many things, so many people, so many expressions. I feel excited, embarrassed, nostalgic.. everything at the same time. I was almost watching my past as a movie. I was riding, there was traffic on the road, but simultaneously there was jam in the mind, thoughts from the past were pushing each other to overtake and come to the front line. There were moments which were clear as crystal.. I could hear/read the exact sentences, see the expressions on the faces of people.. but then, also there were moments which were hidden in fog.. it was hard to recall what was actual course.. how things actually happened. There were friends, relations, blogs, posts, messages, emails, walks, songs, drawings.. I miss parts of them. I want to delete parts of them. That time.. it was good.. it was bad. But I am somehow missing it badly at this moment. As if it was a dear friend of mine. Might not be the perfect but close to heart. I want to hang around with it, for some more time. I am alone and I feel it wants to give me company.
चलो ना शोर में बैठें, जहाँ कुछ न सुनाई दे
कि इस ख़ामोशी में तो सोच भी बजती है कानों में
PS: There is a sudden rush of feelings. I don't wanna loose it as always. So just wrote whatever came to my mind, without bothering the grammar or logic. But this is first time that I am unable to feel lighter, even after writing.
Post PS (added on December 28, 2012 - 2:40 PM): Those lines in Hindi are part of a त्रिवेणी by Gulzar.
Post PS (added on December 28, 2012 - 2:40 PM): Those lines in Hindi are part of a त्रिवेणी by Gulzar.
