Joy of turning old

Few months back I had watched the movie Awakenings (starring Robin Williams and Robert De Niro). The movie was, no doubt, amazing. I was stunned by firstly Robert De Niro's acting, secondly the story.. the way dilemmas of patients and their families was pictured, and also the courage and innocence of Dr. Sayer's character. Anyways, this post is not for the review of movie. You may read AK's post for an interesting review.

As usual after watching the movie I googled and came to know that it is based on Oliver Sacks' book of the same name. I read more about him, went through his works and list of books. I was curious about his work, and felt that I should read atleast one of  his books. Actually he had occupied some quiet-small corner in my brain. And finally, last month in the discount frenzy, even after all that Amazon mess, I have managed to get hold of his book The Mind's Eye.

So I think I should now finally come to the reason which made me write this post. Actually yesterday morning I read an article by Oliver sacks in New York Times. I don't know why, but I really enjoyed reading this article.. there was that feeling, when you want to re-read something. The article is totally about his feelings on turning 80.. about what his life has been.  It was something like, how happy and satisfied a person is on turning old.. but at the same time, just like most of us, even he has that feeling, that he could have wasted less time and could have done many more things. Its about a person, who is not looking at the gloominess of old age, but at the positive side, that there are few things, which you cannot feel unless you are old. I am quite awed by the following lines..

"At 80, one can take a long view and have a vivid, lived sense of history not possible at an earlier age. I can imagine, feel in my bones, what a century is like, which I could not do when I was 40 or 60."

Just wanted to share the article. I hope I have motivated you enough to read it :)


PS: Sometimes background turns out to be longer than the main content :P

I've got a thing for music

The music. I can hear it everywhere. In the wind... in the air... in the light. It's all around us. All you have to do is open yourself up. All you have to do... is listen.                                       

     -August Rush

Happy World Music Day!!!

I had been planning to write about my adventures with music since, like, ever. I remember that I had even thought of a very fancy title as well, which I can no more recall :'( and that is the loss of publishing posts in mind, they could get deleted without warning. So better late than never.. And anyways there was one benefit of the delay.. I am more and more into it, the thoughts, likings, inclinations have become more concrete. Just came to know that today is special, so there could not have been a better moment to share my quest into the world of music.

Since my childhood I was quite keen on listening to music. It was never very specific type or genre, but while studying, specially Maths, I always preferred having something in my ears. Ones I remember from school time are Bhai Surinder Singh Jodhpuri's kirtan tracks (used to be my favorite), Bally Sagoo's cassette (don't remember its name) which had that celebrated (atleast for me) Ragamuffin mix (mind you I ain't saying the famous Gur naalo ishq mitha). Anyways as I moved on to Banasthali, I used to get cassettes recorded with favorite tracks. My choice used to vary like anything. Sometimes I wanted soft romantics, sometimes kirtans, sometimes dhol dhamaka bhangra kind, sometimes some BSB or Enrique, or may be Saturday night and Brazil too. With time, things became more and more convenient.. in 3rd year we had PC in hostel room ..in M.Sc. Papa gifted me a MP3 player. But the choice was always a mix of the above list. 

Somewhere around last year (unable to recall the exact time of transition) I got some inclination towards classical musical. Not that exactly the Classical Music. But I started enjoying the classical beats (i don't know what one calls them) which appear in songs once in a while, like dha dhin dha, actually its hard to enlist like this. But off course I can give some examples. Like first 2:30 mins of Jab pyar kiya to darna kya (Mughal-e-azam), Thumak-thumak pad (Ankahee), Kali ghodi dwar khadi (Chashme baduur). There were (are) many such songs for which I developed eventual appreciation. Like the starting part of Piya Bawri (Khoobsurat). I think I had mentioned earlier as well, about the pleasure I am getting in listening to these songs..

Then one fine day at sikhnet.com I stumbled across Bhai Inderjeet Singh's collection which had lot classical kirtan (in gurbani kirtan we call pakke raag). And to add to it, he has also mentioned the raag in which the shabad is sung.The complete Guru Granth Saheb is in Raags, that was my only awareness about raags. I had never before known the musical end of raags (might sound funny). So that was the first time when I felt the music of raags.. things became more technical and at the same time more enjoyable. I started listening more and more to those shabads. Then I started eating AK's head, that whether there is a way to identify underlying raag of the song.. or can she identify the raag from that dha dhin dhin beats.. I was (and I am still) totally unaware of the technicalities playing around. But one thing was sure, they were quite intriguing. I started searching on internet. I stumbled across an interesting research article, on use of Hidden Markov Model to identify Raags. But somehow (unfortunately), that was not something I was looking for. I wanted to feel those small differences in rhythm. I wanted to see how things work. I was happy to see that there were others who shared a common anxiety. But everyone suggested that one should listen more and more and enjoy.. technicalities follow.

Then in the month of February, we heard that Prof.K.B.Athreya (Godfather for Statistical theory of Branching processes) is visiting IISER Pune for a week, will be giving a series of talks on not so technical topics of Mathematics and one talk in our Dept. And we also got the news that one evening he will also talk about music. We decided attended his talks, and as expected he was amazing. As AK is already in to music and I was falling in so we decided to attend the lecture on music as well. Then we came to know that actually SPIMACAY has organised the lecture. That was the first time that I came to know that such a society exists. Not just that, there were many terms that I heard for the first time. Taanpura, the names of raags in Carnatic and Hindustani music, Shrutis, notes, relation to Mathematics, Melakartas, and lot more. What resulted was less of information storage but more of curiosity. Because an hour's time was too less to understand so much. It was like throwing words of the tone verb, adjectives, prepositions to a kid in Kindergarten.

I started googling more and more. One raag which clicked me most (for reasons unknown to me) was Raag Malkauns. Search led me to many videos/tracks on internet. And then eventually I realised that the kind of music I enjoy the most in classical base is Gurbani kirtan. And then Google is always a saviour. I got lots of resources, which gave the shabad tracks along with raag details, like Gurmat Sangeet Project and Gurmat Sangeet Darbar. I think we are really lucky to get access to infinite amount of resources on one flat looking box. So nowadays I am listening to Bhai Avtar Singh, Bhai Gurmeet Singh Shant and so on.. Though the inclinations have made a substantial shift, the tendency of getting addicted to a music piece still remains same. I have found some of the kirtan tracks quite addictive. Back in school days when papa used to play these guys then I used to get uncomfortable.. like frankly speaking irritated. I think I have evolved over time :P

Last month I visited Manali for 4 days. We (me & my better half) stayed in a hotel which was a little inside a lane. We used to walk down that lane everyday in the morning. On the way there was a Music Learning Centre. Everyday morning I used to hear same tune (probably students must be practising) which I was almost certain that it has to be Malkauns. I enjoyed listening to it. There used to be strong desire to stand there for a while and enjoy. At times I felt an urge for entering the building and discussing with the teacher (whosoever he/she is) more about the music being played. That music brought me nostalgia.

After coming back to Pune, we (me & AK) came to know that there is a possibility that an online course could be conducted to teach the Magic and Logic of Music for people like me. The syllabus also redirected me towards TaalPulse, a software which serves as Lehra, Theka and Tanpura machine. In the meanwhile AK always tried her best to answer my questions, which at times used to be little dumb.. She explained me the working of Tanpura and Theka, how the taals works, how the tanpura is simplest and most basic (and still pleasant to listen), and why harmonium isn't considered to be perfect.

We together prayed for the course, but it didn't work out. The day I got to know that it hasn't I was very disappointed.. frustated actually. I was actually looking forward to it. What next.. Google!!! And now I got hold of the following two books: Nad: Understanding Raga Music and Nuances Of Hindustani Classical Music. Both the books are intended for people who like music but are not exposed to the science behind, who will be happy to know more, who think that some basic knowledge will allow them to enjoy more.. I was happy again, excited!! I am really looking forward to read them and dive into this beautiful world of rhythms.

I really think that I have got a thing for Music :)

PS: 0. As always the post has turned up as SUPER long.. Really should look into the ways for summarizing my feelings :-|

PS: 1. Amidst of planning an article with AK, MBR expecting some research article, I am writing this. I wish technical writings were as easy and free flowing as blog posts..

PS: 2. Why is that I always need some special occasion or Muhrat to express my feelings.. be that sparrows or music .

Ode to Hindi Cinema

I have always compared Bollywood with Hollywood and hated the fact that we can never come up with movies as good as the ones made in West. I don't know why, but I have felt that I do not feel like watching even 5 minutes of almost any bollywood movie. I know there are exceptions. There is Wednesday, there is Taare Zameen Par, there is Lagaan, Iqbaal, Dor, Dharm, YMI, which I have loved and praised. But such a list is definitely small.

But there was a time in Indian movies, which was different. Calling that era Hindi Cinema rather than Bollywood, makes me feel better. I know I have earlier also praised some classics of that era, but that doesn't stop me from repeating the same.. that I can watch Chupke-chupke and Golmaal any number of times.. that I went literally Wow for Khoobsurat when I watched it recently and realised how I had missed the way this movie entertains you.. how Ankahee and Ek Doctor ki Maut made me realise what great actors we had.. the sweetness and innocence of Balika Badhu.. the way Masoom makes me cry every time I watch it. I think it was all real CINEMA.

Today I have another addition to that list. Purab aur Pashchim. Yesterday, while browsing channels on TV, I suddenly saw and then stopped, and then I did not turn the channel even for a minute, for more than an hour (+there were no adverisements to disturb). I was totally spell bound and awestruck. Totally surprised that although  i had watched it earlier a few times,  I had once again failed to realise what a classic piece of art it is. So many scenes gave me goose bumps and so many scenes left my eyes wateryy. Somehow, I am feeling so great about everything in the movie.. Every actor and character left a mark..  Ashok Kumar with his calmness and strength, Om Prakash with his helplessnes, Pran in the denial and then the regret, Madan Puri with his expressions in all those situations when he feels sorry for his daughter and ashamed of the way she is brought up.. and offcourse Manoj Kumar.

Music was simply adding to the serenity of the movie. Those moments when Hare Rama, Hare Krishna starts it feels so divine and true.. and the peace you get with that tune and those 4 words. Hai preet jahan ki reet sada, I anyways have always been a fan off.. specially the starting lines. First time I liked Om Jai Jagdish Hare so much that I could feel it (specially in the climax, when Saira Bano is back and it starts with Vishay Vikar Mitayo)..so much that it made me think of composer and realise that I don't even know who wrote this famous aarti.  FYI it was composed by Pandit Shardha Ram Phillauri. 

I couldn't help it putting it for download immediately. And first time it is happening that even after download  is complete, I haven't removed it and allowed it to seed for others. Just because I want more and more people to watch it. For people sitting in far away lands, to know what India is.. and to remind people within, what our country was (I know thats not one of  the best and most ethical ways to share and circulate).

PS:1. This is a post which came with impulse. Thanks for bearing with the length and all the jhol-jhal vali Engreji.

PS:2. Sorry again for being so iregular. I am still writing posts in mind, along with the most appropriate titles. I wish I could share with you someday :-|

memories generated on World Sparrow Day

I was doing some random surfing, and came to know that today is World Sparrow Day. It is celebrated to raise awareness of the sparrow and other common birds to urban environments, and of threats to their populations.

Although they say that Sparrows are the most ubiquitous birds on earth, but I have really missed them in last few years. We used to have so many in our balcony in Kanpur. We used to feed them everyday.  I loved their chirping, the noise they used to make. Everyone at home was fond of them.

There were some more regular companions as well, like jungle babbler, laughing dove, common myna, quarrelsome parrots, naughty but cute squirrels. 

We used to put variety of grains at least twice a day along with water. When we used to go out stations, I was always so worried about their food :-| When we moved to Bhopal it was a complete end of the story. Hardly any bird visits there.

I am really feeling nostalgic and I am almost teary now, remembering my dearest birdies. Thankfully we have some pictures of them as memories.. and there are so many small small incidences associated..

Jungle babbler

I was very fond of these guys. They used to come in groups and make lotsss of noise. But sometimes they used to shake or move so much that their feathers were all swollen, and they used to look like a feathery ball. Back then I didn't knew their name, so i used to call them  चूज़े वाली चिड़िया :P

Laughing Dove

This was the quietest bird in the balcony. We used to call it घुघ्घी. You might be able to relate if you know the famous song from Pinjar. They were only two of them.. used to sit for long, watch and observe the situation, and then delicately walk towards the plate and eat. They didn't like much of interference.

Lonesome Pigeon

Papa longed so much for pigeons, but they rarely visited. Here there are so many, but unwelcome :(







Here are some random pics from their usual gatherings..

And here is our favorite squirrel, doing some naughty, cute and funny acts. They were so brave and fearless, that if you sit and don't move for a while, they won't mind crossing over you. I remember once, in summer afternoon, mummy was lying on on a wooden takhat taking her afternoon nap, fully covered with shawl. And these kept on crossing her, even when they came to know after first time, that a human being is sleeping there :D They used to take panga with the parrots. One day they had a big fight, and the parrot lost the battle after having a severe injury that it bled. Actually both of them were fond of groundnuts..which made them bang their heads :P

   

And finally the parrots.. They were quite human friendly. Eventually they became so close, that they used to come and take groundnuts from our hand. I think my brother can provide you a better picture of them.

I know post has gone far too long, but I hope all those had patience to reach the end, enjoyed :P

PS: Sometime back I also wrote a kind of poem using these sparrows in the backdrop. 

Singularity

Though days, though were equally messed, were better and lighter. When I had both energy and courage to scribble. When I felt like a free bird while expressing myself. It has all changed.

Change, which is the only constant, changes everything around. Everything has to change with time, and it does. Life, family, friends, career, interests, hobbies, preferences, attitudes, views ..none of them is degenerate. And then our lives are connected to all these variables through complex functions. None of them are independent. Whatsoever transformation you try, these variables will manage to affect you in some way or the other. As they say, everything is for good. Because no one likes a covariance matrix which is singular.

But sometimes I feel, I don't know what is good or bad. I just want(ed ) few situations, few people and few relations to remain as they were, as they have always been to me, kind. I can't let them go so easily. I just want to give up on everything now.

There is so much buried in but it is so hard to dig. I wish it was easier. I think this is the most serious loss you suffer when you don't write regularly. You loose the ability to write. 

Though I have babbled few bits randomly, but I am still carrying lots of load on my feathers. And I guess I won't be able to unload it for a while.